Friday, 25 May 2012

Think Abouting Cursing Animals

  So I sort of caught a bit of a new story that says dogs can possibly think. This is really amazing but my main focus is that I wonder do they have doggy swear words? Probably, they do right? They have a lot to be angry about in their daily life like trespassers, empty food bowls, balls not moving, cats that are moving and so forth.

  Dogs must really be cursing people (and cats) out sometimes when they bark a lot and I find it harder to love an animal that uses so much bad language. Seeing eye dogs for the blind on the other hand don't bark so much, but you have to let you're feelings out at some point, I assume when their owner is asleep they unleash a mountain of swears into their dog blanket or pillow which allows them the release they don't get as trained professional people helping dogs.

  In America a lot of dogs like to swear/bark at squirrels, here in Australia it's more likely to be a snake or lizard, one way of building up a database of what bark means what is to analyse a lizard swear/bark and a squirrel swear/bark, then we would be well on the way to communicating with dogs and getting them to stop being jerks sometimes.

  Imagine if you could swear back at your dog in it's own language when it misbehaves? Raising your voice and swearing at children works so well I don't see why it wouldn't be as effective on your dog. It's early days but let's hope for a breakthrough in this new scientific field as swears in other languages are also fun to impress friends and relatives.

RUFF RUFF! ( I don't know what that means in Doggish but it's probably very rude)  

Thursday, 10 May 2012

Tom Scharpling comic book fan art.


 Here's a page of comic book art written by myself and drawn/inked by my comic book submission collaborator Bruce Lugli. It's to celebrate the genius of writer, broadcaster and comedian Tom Scharpling.

Hope you all enjoy it.

More comic book stuff from us:

Wednesday, 2 May 2012

It's Smaller World After All (My plans are implemented)

  I like foods that make me fat, but I don't like being fat! It's a problem as old as time(I can't back that up, so don't ask), we want what's bad for us and large amounts of it. That's why I'm proposing a nationalisation of the supply of sugar and fat by the government. We can't be expected to control our fat food dependancies on our own if all that's required to get our pudgey hands on it is by is trading money for these substances, proper control and distribution needs to be instigated and backed up by legislation. Apart from a population generally fitter, healthier and more productive we might actually end up with a defence force capable of invading and annexing New Zealand? Which is something that most Australians have had on their wish list since Papua New Guinea became independent.

  I know your thinking that a fat and sugar control program is a sugar free pie in the sky idea and could never get off the ground but consider all the other controlled substances found in chemists? That kind of works right? Under my program each person would get an photo identity card, children under 10 years old would be on their parents or guardians card, then it would as simple as calling into registered sugar or fat merchants to get your allowance each week. Non sugar/fat eating people would have to be on a separate data bank because they would be liable to become dealers of these substances after storing their allowances for a number of weeks. If they wanted to return to the fat foods eating community they would have to write a essay about how they'd like to start watching a lot of TV and such and such. 

  I know it's a harsh measure but desper-FAT times call for desperate measures. Keep these factors in mind: No Gym sessions, no cooking shows(containing sugar or fat which make you crave bad foods and bored to death), no exercise programs on TV, no advertisements for exercise equipment on TV, honestly, the benefits go on and on. The only negatives are that our private details will be tracked slightly more so by the government..who love us. After one year of this new regime anyone still deemed chubby or husky would be sent to New Zealand (which we have annexed by that point) to walk it off in the mountains searching for new or endangered Kiwi Bird species.

  Think you've skirted around my legislation by eating gallons of honey? Well all Bee hives would be surrounded by a electric fences Einsteins!